Sometimes I feel as if I’m stuck in a loop. I feel like I’m not worthy of having problems. I feel like I’m not allowed. I can’t be a burden to my parents. They already have their own problems. Plus I’ve grown up to be the “strong” one in the family. Not the one who can’t handle their own inner demons. But really I’m fighting them off every day but they keep coming back. I don’t eat, to feel inner satisfaction, like i am achieving something, though I know all the risks in doing so. I feel bad for doing this to myself, because of how privileged I’ve been with how healthy I am. I’ve never thought I was fat, I have thought I have imperfections, those im not proud of. It makes me ashamed.